“我说得很标准， really”

July 27, 2010

The above quote (“I speak very standardised [Chinese], really”) and the doubtful expression which followed on Xi Wei’s face as the two of us were eating in a 巢湖市 (Chaohu) restaurant had me laughing uncontrollably for a brief moment. In fact, his jibes continued over the several days I stayed with him in 安徽 (Anhui) and it’s reasons like this that I will always consider him my Chinese brother.

(In China, due to the one child families, close friends often call each other older/younger brother or sister as an acknowledgement of their tight relationship.)

You see, humour is a very effective tool at breaking down the barrier of cross-cultural communication. Humour releases tension and allows the interlocutors to view each other in a more relatable light—and Xi Wei is the most relatable Chinese guy I know.

Xi Wei isn’t just a wisecrack though, he is a good friend and together we can just do “guy stuff”. This is quite important for our development as second language speakers as well as overseas expats. Plus, to be quite honest, besides from my actual brother (“Hi!”), I don’t really have anyone in Australia to do guy stuff with.

As has always been the case with my experience with China, it’s the personal relationships which act as the catalyst towards understanding and language development. Touching base, not just with anyone, but someone you really like is the best means to find your feet in a foreign country. Having reunited with Xi Wei as the conclusion to my recent travels and as someone who I haven’t seen for two years, I’m starting to feel a little more comfortable here.

The air of criticism which has permeated throughout the previous blog posts are, I think, quite a natural type of knee-jerk reaction that anyone would have towards their initial experience of living in a foreign country (even if this is the 3^rd time). For me, the past few weeks have been exhausting as I travel around and organise accommodation, toilets and internet. The exhaustion has been met with a fair deal of emotion and turbulence as I meet with friends I haven’t seen for a long time and deal with the ceaseless amount of inconveniences which plague my presence.

(I have talked with other foreigners about their initial experiences here in China and they don’t seem to share or sympathise with my disgruntlement. “To each his own” they say as if show a level of acceptance that befalls my own troll-like attitude. I am most certainly a poor student of cultural studies, or maybe I am thinking too much again. Next time).

Meeting with Xi Wei, someone whom has a firm understanding of what I’m going through—a rarity on both sides of the cultural fence—has restored my attitude towards this place and reminded me that a little common sense towards openness, as opposed to wrapping my exhausted self in a cultural cocoon, is the best way to approach this place. We are so unstable without the friendship which supports us.