Not Feeling Very Proactive Today

April 1, 2008

Blogging and Online

I should probably start here for today. In the past 2 weeks my proactivity online has really dwindled. Usually when I get the free time online I’ll be running around contributing on forums, networking with other bloggers and doing a whole bunch of that stuff. But lately I have felt a lack of motivation for participating in these areas. I’ve been preferring to sit back, unnoticed and just read and investigate issues instead of participating in discussion. I’ve also realized that my posting frequency over at my Gamer blog has been pretty solid, I have some how got into a rhythm for posting up an article once every two days. Also I feel that my writing style is shifting as well, less software driven and more industry and issues driven.

Chinese Exchange

This is in converse to my regular life which has been bouncing along at a fruitful pace. I have been feeling exceedingly pressured lately by the prospect of this Chinese exchange in September. My problem is that I am running out of time and I keep on hitting dead ends.

You see my original plan and it’s back up plan have been thrown out of the window. Fortunately I have secured a second back up plan which should guarantee me a spot in China this September. You see my original plan was to go on an exchange through a program set up with my home University. Unfortunately I have not heard astounding (but still okay) things about the only University in which I can study at through my home Uni. But even worse I cannot go on an exchange this year as I missed the cut off back in November which is ridiculously early. Of course I could just go next year but unfortunately it doesn’t work in well as the Chinese institutions start school in September (hence a year abroad doesn’t work when I only have ½ a year).

So my second option was to check out what my second University offers (I only study Chinese there). They have a fantastic selection of Universities, unfortunately as I am not a full time student I cannot participate in any of these. Now just yesterday my Chinese tutor told me that it is possible or at least it has been done before with other cross-institutional students. So I still have to check out that.

Finally my last option was recommended to me by some one in one of my linguistics classes. They have a son which undertook this program with great success. Essentially I can go to China and teach oral english, I get accommodation, fantastic support (like a dedicated person in Australia who I can contact 24/7 for help) and a lot of help with the whole process (flight, visa etc.). One of my Chinese friends also knows someone whom successfully par took in one of these exchanges. I teach for 15+ hrs a week and get my own pay. This is only for 5/6 months.

So, I am unsure about what to choose be it this or next year. Essentially I can’t do an exchange with my home University this or next year. I already missed this year and otherwise it doesn’t match up. Also judging from the listings of previous exchanges no one at my University has done an exchange to China for some time. Hmmmm

I don’t want to pay my own way either so just forget that. This leaves me with two choices either teach over in China this September or see if my secondary University will allow me to do an exchange. I’ve been stuck on the idea of the teaching program as I out of all the options it gives me the best support and a lot of free time to explore, make and spend time with friends, do some photography. Where as studying over there either binds me to:

a pre-planned language course
a full on regular course

One runs the risk of being a waste of time and too easy, the other I guess would be suited well to my level.

The Long Haul

In the past year I have had this constant idea ringing in my head and it continually frustrates me beyond belief. You know, this year is the seventh year of me studying Chinese? This fact frustrates me exceedingly because I am currently an average student in a class of students whom this year is their third. I feel as though the 5 years of study at school almost counts for nought. I feel very frustrated about this because I feel that I am continually being overtaken.

The majority of my Chinese study has been in the past 2 years which I have soley focused on the study. Before that my study involved 4hrs a week of classes at school for several years. I guess if I look at it like that then I should not feel as bad as the majority of that time has not consisted of concentrated study and infact is quite forgettable.

Theres two other things that I want to factor in; firstly my progress over the past ummm 8 months which has been huge, seriously leaps and bounds. Secondly is the prospect of over seas study, I think that this will help me continue on the trend of leaps and bounds and will help me make the next leap to fluency. I can feel myself slowly closing in on this goal, so it shouldn’t be too long before I get there. Probably less than 2 years I suspect.

Still, having this weight of 7 years around is just so infuriating.

Well thats what I’ve been doing over the past week. Well not really, but its what has been on my mind lately.

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