Short Bursts of Info on Life in China
June 10, 2010
I am writing this because it’s 7am and people in the hotel are standing by my door and yelling obscenities at each other from across the hall
I still believe that most middle aged Chinese people are just moronic in their behaviour. Particularly in their polarising attitudes toward laowais; we’re either Gods or the scum of the Earth. The best you could do is acknowledge us when we ask you a question or at least attempt to listen to what we say. [TING BU DONG] is simply not suffice when I know that you understand me, plainly saying ‘no’ is worse.
Haven’t felt culture shock as of yet, which seems to suggest that I am rather comfortable with this place. Unlike last time, I feel that my extended breather has allowed me to get over the phenomena my friend elegantly put as “foreigners (westerners) respect other culture but do not always accept it.”. I still have my issues though, people here still do the “wrong” thing most of the time: litter, spit, drive like maniacs, casually yell at each other while conversing in restaurants and overuse their car horn. Some of this I am quite concerned about, for myself that is. I need an accelerated heart rate to live here. This place is just so dense, the noise loud enough to easily frighten you and the smells and flavours enough to equally overwhelm. I mean, China is a potent place and for westerners I think that it can be dangerously different.
Perhaps this is why so many laowais here are fuckwits. I have been discussing this issue with a friend recently who has had many experiences with laowais and their exploitation, misunderstandings and disrespect of foreign culture. Some of the stuff she told me makes me sick. I hate Shanghai for this reason, it really is a place of sin. The place reeks of capitalism with the massive subsections of incredibly rich and embarrassingly poor. Even though my favourite restaurant was demolished on Caobao road for some lovely gardens and large high rises proudly propogating the message of that blue bastard Haibao and his expo of supposed world culture (stuff the Chinese have no idea about), this place is superficial in its modernity.
Talking about the World Expo. Damn, they really are ramping up the propoganda campaign. I mean every park, street, garden, hotel, building is plastered with propoganda. At least it is leading to some demolishing and subsequent development (some of which is “green”). I haven’t yet met a laowai who has heard of the World Expo, yet every Chinese person knows all about it.
The sad consequence of this expo, as explained to me by a friend, is that it acts as an impetus for the CCP to feed the Shanghai government with more Mao Zedong (greenback; he’s on everyone). Obviously there is something of an internal, provincial thing going on where Shanghai throw their weight around to get access to more money. For all the redevelopments that this expo is birthing—in which there is an incredible amount, think of the construction of another 12 Adelaides—a struggling city in Sichuan continues to go without adaquete means of transportation to faciliate a sustainable farming/production economy. Hangzhou is a good example of the side effects of Shanghai’s weighty reputation. 3-4 additional subways lines have been built since the announcement of the expo—and the Shanghai government’s hackneyed attempt to siphon money from Beijing. Yet Hangzhou’s subway network has been left incomplete and in the middle of construction for years now. So much as leaked in the Chinese press. A lavish world expo at the expense of social and economic justice. Shanghai coffers reap more dough from the population as they learn of global capital (it is, after all, an expo for big business, something that most Chinese laobaixing (commoners) have no investment in) while Sichuan is probably still waiting for wood since the Earth quake. Fair trade.
I won’t say much about this—but just quickly—my relationship with my girlfriend (the one I abandonded for a year and some months, like the bastard I am) is fantastic. As mentioned earlier, I accept this culture now and I know so because I haven’t yet experienced a moment of culture shock. I have been overwhelmed, but I haven’t be stunned, surprised or alienated yet; this place just feels normal, far more normal than home. As uninformed and ignorant as some people may be (blame the nationalists and the middle aged), I currently feel at peace here. China’s value system is not a fucked up catastrophe like Australia—I think. This all means that previous uncertainties in the relationship (the ones which made me worry considerably) ,which I previously deemed as falling on her side of the fence, I now accept and understand. I don’t feel that I was ignorant before, but rather living in turbulent times where I hadn’t the time to adaquetely dwell on the situation. This past intermission has been rewarding in that it has allowed me to reflect again on culture, this time, my life in China in contrast to Australia. This is kinda weird how it all worked out. My year of absence has allowed me to properly interpret the principles which govern this place and as a result of that things that I felt may have torn us apart before are actually making me fall more in love with her now. With her I accept that things don’t have to be neat and perfect, let alone ideal—because life is usually less than; I can just let go of my worries and we just have fun together. I love that. Right now, I’m reminded of Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind and the relationship of the two main characters where they are so dissimilar and yet bounded together by the comfort that their intimacy brings. This is probably quite different from Chris and Catherine, whose relationship I envision as strained in avoidance of imperfections. Chris once asked me how it is possible to have a relationship with someone who I don’t speak a common language with, I don’t think he will understand.
I called Hanxue the night I arrived back and I must say it takes little effort from her to fill me with great happiness, so I was delighted to hear her enthusiasm burst from the phone once she’d heard my voice. She epitomises the best characteristics of Chinese ingroup and outgroup relations.
My throat is really sore and my nose is a little blocked, so perhaps I have come down with a cold. This would be a reasonable explanation for my awful tiredness, even if it is mostly hot and humid here at the moment (cold in mornings and night, however). I really need to rest, but the choice of rest in the face of meeting good friends is a tough one to accept. Everyday I am busy, from the moment I get up to just before 12. The constant active engagement, travelling, using my phone (I am always txting or calling, or have someone I need to urgently txt or call) and breaking back into Chinese language, society and identity is really tough. I am trying to eat well and am doing okay in this regard. I try to eat more meats and veg instead of rice and noodle which fill me up too quickly and make me feel uncomfortably full and provide little nourishment. I have taken some of the cold and flu pills I brought. I’m not exactly sure what my body needs at the moment. I will spend a day in Wuxi sleeping and gorging on fruit and veg.
My clothes are a little smelly too. I am running out of casual clothes to suit the weather. I will wash them once I arrive in Wuxi, or I will haul them to Anhui and wash them at Xi Wei’s so that I can wear them again there.
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