Things that make me uncomfortable and how to deal with them (because the reality is that I have to deal with this stuff)

July 31, 2010

As the title says, here’s a list of things in China which make me feel rather uncomfortable and ways in which I can deal with them. Please leave comments. I will add more of these articles as I face more confronting cultural differences.

骨头和肥肉 (Bones and Fat)

Issue: Conflict of the tastefulness in food. In western culture we do not eat a lot of meat with bones because it is often too difficult to eat (like fish head), therefore our meats are well pre-prepared before we purchase them from a butcher. In China, the animal carcase, bones, fat and all is simply cut up and thrown into a pot. I find that some of the food I am offered in China is not well prepared and too difficult to eat with not enough actual meat. Furthermore, in western culture, we feed such meat to animals, so Chinese dining can sometimes appear uncivilised.

Australian thinking: When eating meat, we should do just that and eat the meat with a minimal amount of fat or bone. (Some meats are an exception to this). As such western meat is often cut into fillets and we can eat with little hassle.

Inferred Chinese thinking: Flavour is quite important therefore bone, bone marrow and fat store a lot of flavour. The most nutritious part of an animal is in the bone marrow, so a straw is sometimes used to suck out bone marrow. The grease (?!) is drained from the fat too, so it acts as a cushion to store flavour.

Solution: I ought to try more Chinese meats. I am quite adamant about fat being fat as even when stewed it still tastes flavourless. It all seems like a big cultural excuse to skimp on the meat. I had hot pot the other day with 4 big bones of beef thrown in with very little meat on the bone and a predominate amount of fat. I guess this does depend on the dishes though. I mean, even though it’s difficult to eat, I quite enjoy fish head and I do enjoy most dishes with meat on the bone. It’s mainly what we’d call “dog bone” style of meat on a bone which I disprefer. So I’ll have to keep experimenting with what I like and find a good middle ground or just take what I can handle.

和我不认识人一起住 (Living with People I don’t really know)

Issue: Cold and impolite feeling when staying with some Chinese people who do not introduce or acknowledge (myself as) a guest. This has happened on several occasions and it’s something that I still fail to fathom. If someone is staying with you, why not acknowledge their presence? Particularly if they are from overseas. Otherwise it just feels impersonal, as though you’ve come to use their home as a hotel. This situation makes me feel uncomfortable as I feel rude that I haven’t properly introduced myself and the host hasn’t facilitated introductions.

Australian thinking: Hosts should make the guest feel welcomed in the house and introduce all of the members of the household to the guest as to make them feel comfortable and so that they know who to ask if they have a problem.

Inferred Chinese thinking: I guess this depends on the individual circumstances. Most Chinese families have not meet a foreigner before, let alone have one stay with them, so there may be apprehension in regards to disturbing the foreigner or making them feel uncomfortable. It is better to express politeness indirectly by offering them a comfortable room, good food and peacefulness.

Some people in China are simply quite shy and prefer to stick with their ingroup relations. In other cases the relationship between the guest and the inviter may affect the behaviour of other members of the household.

Solution: Try not to feel offended by the natural reactions of others in these situations since the reason behind it isn’t always because of you. In fact reasons for shyness or a lack of acknowledgement are more so norms without specific connotation than anything else and not reading into them is okay.

穿短裤 (Wearing Shorts)

Issue: No one in China wears shorts?! I am the only person wearing shorts in summer and, furthermore, the only one sporting gorilla-like leg hair. I stand out like a sore thumb.

Australian thinking: The weather is hot. Wearing pants makes you hot. Don’t wear pants if you don’t have to.

Inferred Chinese thinking: There is simply no logic behind wearing pants in summer. There is even less logic behind wearing pants and a jacket at the same time.

Solution: Chinese people are impractical. Okay, I’m kidding here. Chinese people do wear shorts. At least I remember some doing so last time I was here. It’s just that they don’t wear them very often as they don’t really have the same summer culture and mentality as we do in Australia. Still, it’s kinda weird. I guess I’ll just keep wearing shorts and staying comfortable then. Xi Wei told me in Chaohu this whole wearing shorts phenomena was something he embraced in Australia (in particularly the windcheater/shorts combo), because people don’t wear shorts so much in China. God bless him, and God bless wearing shorts.