Saturday Come Slow
August 28, 2010
Recently this clip made for the Massive Attack song, Saturday Come Slow, really grabbed my attention. Please watch it below:
The image at the end of the clip of the milk-like substance flinching to the bass of the speaker is a powerfully abstract metaphor for the cause against using music as torture. In fact, I was so compelled by this video that I followed the link to the site and will at some stage place a donation to respective organisation, ZeroDB. There is a video you can watch on the site about a documentary on the use of music as torture, currently it doesn’t appear to be released.
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The Future
On the way to my potato and beef noodle dinner, I was thinking about the future. I kind of surprised myself too, after all, lately I haven’t had the time nor head space to think past the next few days in front of me, let alone my long term prospects.
Maybe this is extremely naïve of me, but I feel all set for the future. I mean, I can’t see myself wanting to change my current scenario very much. Given it’s a bit rough now, the following 10 months ought to be rather comfortable. I live well on my own, I have a comfortable salary and a great relationship with my girlfriend, I love my apartment, and I have more than enough time to continue playing and writing about games as well as maintaining my other hobbies. I find that this environment and my job is very challenging and satisfying, but at the same time I can also limit that challenge if I wish. Otherwise, as I become more acclimatised to China and my work, day-to-day life will only become progressively easier. Also, I haven’t even began to scratch the surface of what this place has to offer. Lately, I’ve remained focused on my writing, since going out is too tiresome after more than 8hrs of straight labour, but soon enough I’ll have time to practice my Chinese out of class and with people my own age.
When I was a teenager, I concluded that if in the future I could work a satisfying, but not overly demanding job and have sufficient time to maintain my enthusiast interests, then there would be nothing else in life that I need. I am more or less on the road to realising this future and I’m only 21. Theoretically, I could keep this job going until I retire, become a senior teacher or whatever, have my hours reduced and my pay increased. Not a bad deal.
Besides rounding up some more games and seeing the family, I also don’t think much of a reason to go home either. A quick glance on Facebook always verifies the reasons why I didn’t want to stick around. If I was in Australia, I figure that everything would be more difficult. Living costs would be expensive, I’d have to drive a car everywhere, cook my own food and I’d have a smaller net of potential jobs. I’d have less interesting friends, be speaking English all the time and be wallowing in regressional modern society.
So long as I continue my relationship with 女神, I know that it will be roughly another 2 years before I can leave and come back. Assuming, that is, I am still with her and want to move back to Shanghai. I guess I’m pretty fortunate then that I’m so relaxed here.
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Capitalism and Humanity
August 20, 2010
Capitalism is a killer of humanity. In a free market system, anything can become a commodity including the working conditions and livelihood of a people. I think that the school I work at, English First, is a good example of this.
English First, according to its website, is “is the world’s largest private education company that specializes [sic] in language training, educational tours and cultural exchange”. To put it more cleanly, they are in the business of making money. Teaching English is secondary. This means that it is suffice for the quality of teaching, and the teachers themselves, to suffer in the grasp for more money. And so, “summer fun”, the 2-month-long, 6-day-a-week peak season, has come to remind us of of our obligation to sell our souls for a few months while the company rakes in big dough.
I hate seeing my humanity being traded in for more students, more classes, a crowded office and sub-par materials which boggle the mind at their low pedigree. Of course, I’m a new to the biz, so I’m arguably taking it up the ass harder than anyone else might like to admit, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to swallow it.
Everyday I feel more and more convinced that I want to write. Hell, I just want to break apart and analyse things—writing is just my preferred method of delivery. Unfortunately, this world doesn’t have a job for me. I ask my students what they want to be when they grow up: businessman, accountant, small business owner, stoke broker…these kids are wise, they can see in inevitability of it all. None of them want it, of course, they’re all in it for the financial security. My end goal, as a writer and contributor to a wider cultural discussion only adds the spheres which global capital rejects: those unaffiliated with the market (ie. the social, cultural and intellectual spheres). Critical thought feeds me like nothing else and I love it more than anything. There is a box in my brain and in my heart where I don’t let anyone else in, I mean no one but him and me. This one thing in my life is a definite, I do not wish to let it go.
Instead, I wish to construct my life around it, which is why I returned to China. I came here because I know that I could eventually build a life here where I can hole myself up, write, play and read about games all day like a nutty cave man. This job does not feed my humanity, it is a means to an end, an end that I don’t want to work towards, an end that I want now. I think I need to sit down and think over my destiny.
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For your consideration, a blog about video games as written by myself:
